Thanks to those of you that left me comments about my grand father and his cancer. I haven’t talked to my dad recently so I’m not sure when his surgery is or if it has already been done and quite frankly, it isn’t something that my dad or step-mom or even grandmother would think to call and inform me about so I’ll find out whenever I get around to calling. Part of me is putting it off because I don’t want to hear any bad news and like I said in the previous post about his cancer, even though we haven’t been close for years no one wants to think about a family member possibly dying. The other part of me just doesn’t want to call out of sheer stubbornness and because of the relationship I have with my dad and step-mom. I guess I feel like they should call and inform me instead of me always keeping tabs on everything. But what should I really expect, after all my grandmother kept the fact that they found out he had cancer in December from me because she didn’t want to worry me with it. Thanks!

Anyways, I’ve been reading a lot lately about cancer and stuff because I like to know what goes on and what happens etc. and even though some of these things have been assignments, I really found the information about mesothelioma interesting because it is a cancer that is caused by asbestos. My other grandfather (my mom’s dad, the side I’m very close too) has asbestos and has to go in for yearly checkups of his lungs and go through stress testing for his breathing. He keeps an inhaler on his dresser and is always out of breathe only after going up a flight of stairs. He’s already dealt with skin cancer on his nose, not the deadly kind, which was removed (happened a few years ago) so it makes me wonder if his asbestos will transform into something more serious. It also makes me worry about myself because my great grandfather died of cancer in 1997, I believe…cancer has a thing for my family.

Ugh…enough talk about this, it is depressing! I’m going to be working on a few assignments so just ignored the next couple of posts if you want too. I’m trying to get them out of the way and trying to save up for a new computer.

that my grandfather’s cancer came back? I don’t remember if I ever posted about him having cancer in the first place, but yes, it’s back. Last December, my grandfather (my dad’s step-dad) had a stroke while on the way home to Columbia, SC from Hilton Head, SC. He pulled into a gas station and collapsed on the floor. He, being the stubborn headed person he is, got back in his truck not long after that and drove the rest of the way home and told my grandmother that something wasn’t right. When they went to the doctor, they said he had suffered a minor stroke but they also found cancer in his throat. I don’t know all the details as to how the stroke lead them to finding the cancer, but in a way the stroke “saved” his life if you will, otherwise they probably wouldn’t have found it.

He went through a round of chemo and radiation from what I’ve been told and when it was done, they said the cancer was gone. I’m not sure when he finished his chemo – I know he was in the hospital down in Charleston, SC around April so it hasn’t been too long ago. Anyways, when I went to my dad’s for my brother’s birthday on July 9th, he informed me that the cancer was back and at this point, my grandfather was refusing treatment. Of course, I cried. Even though, my brother and I haven’t had a close relationship with my dad’s parents since we were young, who wants to think about someone in the family dying? No one! My dad said he was confident that he’d come around and go through treatment again.

Well, last week when I was moving stuff into my new apartment, my step-mom let me know that my grandfather had decided to go through treatment or surgery (I forget what she said) but if they found the cancer has spread into the jaw, they were to stop. My grandfather has decided that if he has spread into his jaw, he doesn’t want to go through surgery or treatment and doesn’t want them to reconstruct his jaw in order to get rid of the cancer. He’s done, if it has spread. This makes me sad and I pray that it hasn’t spread any further and they can get rid of it. My grandfather is young compared to most people that have living grandparents today. If and when he passes, whether it’s from cancer or another cause, I’ll be sad but nothing could ever prepare me for the passing of my mother’s parents whom I’m extremely close with.

It makes me wish that they had cancer lawyers, like they do Mesothelioma lawyers, so we could just take the damn disease to court and cast it away; like they have no legal right to invade the body! We’ll see how it goes. I haven’t been updated on his status in a few weeks so I’ll have to give my dad a call and find out what’s going on. Sometimes, I think I rather not know because everyone knows I’m the emotional, sensitive basketcase in my family and I just want everything to be okay…

My cousin, Brendan and I don’t get along – plain and simple. We never really have gotten along, I mean we have our times when we “get along” but deep down, she’s always gotten under my skin mainly because she’s such an attention whore. Apparently, I’m a bitch and being a bitch because I won’t add her as a friend on myspace, I wouldn’t buy her flip flops the other day when I was going shopping for ME and she got my brother to call and ask me if I’d get some for her, and because I refuse to talk to her and answer her calls; I’m such a bitch because of it.

If that makes me a bitch, then I’ll take that because it doesn’t hurt my feelings a damn bit. I find it rather amusing to be honest because she reasoning behind why I’m such a bitch are stupid. I haven’t talked to her in about a month, and I really haven’t seen her since Easter. I have absolutely NOTHING to say to her and thus I don’t talk to her; I don’t answer her calls because 100% of the time it’s her calling to ask me what I’m doing to which I respond nothing, every time OR it’s her calling because she’s trying to find someone to take her to the store for something she apparently needs…because jeez, she doesn’t have a car or a license because hers is suspended. Seriously, I’m over being nice and doing things for her, I’m over wasting my time on someone who clearly ISN’T going to change and I’m definitely over being involved with someone who only acts like a bitch towards everyone else.

Sure, she’s pregnant for the SECOND time and she’s miserable but that still is no reason to be a bitch to EVERYONE; it’s not me making shit up or something random like that, hell just the other day at her baby shower her dad made the comment, how about you do use all a favor and not get pregnant again – because she had an attitude for no apparent reason. It’s fucking old and ridicilous and the ONLY reason I haven’t said something to her or anyone else about aside from my mom is because I don’t want to deal with the drama that will be caused by what I have to say; if I say something to her it’ll only piss off her along with my grandmother AND my aunt, why do I want to deal with that? I don’t. Eventually, something will get said and when it happens, it won’t be very pretty but for now the easiest thing to do is to remove myself from having anything to do with her and that is exactly what I’ve done and I’m perfectly fine. Apparently, it bothers her so much that I don’t talk to her yet I didn’t really talk to her much before…god forbid!!! Seriously, I wish she’d get over herself and realize that I wouldn’t ‘ignore’ her if she wasn’t such a bitch to everyone that is around her and was actually worth the fucking air she breathes.