Since Alan left to go back home last Saturday, I’ve been having a hard time dealing with the emptiness that was left behind. Even though he wasn’t here for a -long- time, it was long enough to get use to having him there when I wake up in the morning, to cuddle and hug with, to go out and do things with etc. and now that he’s back home the things I do on a normal basis feel weird. I don’t cry 24/7 and really I don’t think I’ve cried much compared to times in the past, but I do find myself feeling sad when I wake up in the morning and if I do cry it’s only for about a minute.

I don’t go throughout my day feeling sad or depressed, but some what bummed in the back of my mind. All I want and all my heart wants is to be with him and around him, to be in a ‘normal’ setting in our relationship so that we can do things together and see each other and then go home at the end of the day. I know that things will be great in the end, and that things will work out – that’s not what I’m worried about, in fact I’m not worried about anything aside from my school situation which I’ll talk about in a later post. But…I miss him, I knew I would and the more I feel towards him and realize how I do feel it’s just going to make it harder to be away. He means the world to me, and as long as he knows this and believes it to be the truth then I’ll be okay when he’s not around.