The semester is coming to a close and I have two exams left…well two and a half if you count the essay section of my history exam that I still have to write. My plan is to drive up to campus tomorrow and take my economics exam, study for my math one later in the evening and take my math exam on Friday - some where between now and then, I’ll write my essays which will be cake. I’m so glad that the semester is almost over because it just means that the next chapter of my life starts! I called MSU on Tuesday and updated my address since I hadn’t done it since we moved - now I know for sure I’ll receive my letter in the mail, haha.

Also, I’ve decided that I’m done with the negativity - honestly, done with it. In the end, where does it get you except hurt feelings and lots of crying which makes you feel like crap. I realize that I need something to keep myself busy aside from work and now that classes are almost over I won’t have my assignments to keep me occupied either. I’ve been wanting to lose some weight and I’ve been seriously considering joining a gym, I just haven’t had the motivation to do it or I guess the courage to start, I think that if I did that I’d be good for me aside from the obvious health reasons.

My relationship with Alan will get better in time, I’m not ready to give up on it and neither is he; our relationship isn’t really that bad to be honest with you, we have no major issues or problems that really warrant us breaking up or anything, it’s just that when emotions run high they run high for the both of us especially me and when that happens, it makes us miserable and makes us think we would be better off apart. And the funny thing is…it all steams from silly, stupid crap like me taking a joke personally or something he said the wrong way - ugh!

Our major issue, however, is being able to come to common ground and understanding in an argument and because we can’t seem to achieve this common ground the issues never get solved but rather pushed under the rug which then reveal themselves at later time when something happens. I’m not exactly sure how we’re suppose to achieve this common ground and understanding in an argument because we’re both hot headed and stubborn - I want it my way, he wants it his way, neither of us want to give into each other - but I believe and have hope that we’ll work it out. All the other issues I have as far as not feeling wanted and such will be resolved when we are together - I know that my main issue with feeling that way is not having the physical connection, after all it’s been four months since we’ve seen each other but it always works out when we are together.

I look forward to attending MSU and starting my life in Michigan, as much as I look forward to having a more normal relationship with Alan without the distance. After all, nothing is perfect and every relationship has it’s up’s and downs but what is the point of being in a relationship in the first place if you aren’t willing to keep on going when things get tough. As long as I don’t feel taken advantage of and stepped all over, I will be fine and I don’t feel that way one bit…we just need to learn how to understand each other and come to agreements and I need to not take things so personally, which I admit I do a lot and admitting your faults is half the battle.

Tags: Alan, Michigan, Relationships, School

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 24th, 2008 at 1:00 am and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.