The last week has been a week of decision. I made the decision to go back to counseling for awhile because I can’t handle the stress anymore. I need someone, unrelated to all situations, that I can talk too and that can try and help me understand things that I don’t particularly grasp. I haven’t been in counseling since I graduated high school and I think I’ve done fairly well without it, up until the last few months. I don’t know what changed, but something did and it changed enough to effect all areas of my life and I’m just tired of it. When I really sit back and look at my life, there isn’t anything MAJORLY wrong but it’s the small things that are starting to get to me and it’s the small things that I can’t seem to talk about with anyone in my family and have them understand where I’m coming from. I figured this would be the best way for me to deal with those issues and feel better in general. I look forward too it.

Not only have I decided to start counseling again for awhile, but I think Alan has finally come to a point where he understands where I’ve been coming from for the past few months as far as him and I are concerned. He’s helped me see a few things that I didnt’ realize or didn’t look at in a certain way, and I think I’ve made him realize how he’s made me feel when he says certain things or does certain things. I’ve never wanted it to get ’bad’ between us and I know he’s never wanted that either, but to just talk sometimes, never did any good and eventually frustration outweighed everything else thus resulted in many arguments when all we wanted was to understand each other. He IS a good boyfriend, but like everyone, small changes need to be made as they do with me which is why I’m going to counseling; he’s working on changing those small things…for me. I love him.

On top of all this, I think I’ve decided that I’ll invest in a new car. After thinking it over a bit, my car – 1995 Honda Civic LX with 106,000 miles on it – isn’t worth putting $2300 (already put in $250) into it. The car when it was bought in 2004 only cost us alittle over $4000, insurance put $2000 into it when it got flooded only THREE DAYS after I got the damn thing and now I have $2300 in repairs – no not worth it at all. So I’ve been trying to figure out what kind of car I’d want to invest in and what would work with my budget. It scares me a bit because buying a car is a big investment and it isn’t something you can just go and buy; you have to plan and budget because of car payments + insurance + property taxes, etc. and with working at Old Navy only part time, I get about $250/300 every two weeks with my hours and I still have to pay insurance monthly, cable bill monthly and help out where needed. I have money in the bank right now but once it’s gone, it’s gone ya know? But I’ll still be left with those car payments…not to mention, I will be going off to school in the Fall so I’m trying to figure out how this will all work, but either way I don’t honestly feel like I should throw $2300 into my Civic.

Right now, I’m looking at the Ford Focus and possibly the Ford Fusion, Dodge Caliber and a new Honda Civic, all of which are good on gas mileage and right around the $18k mark when it comes to options and such. The only thing I really want my car to have is A/C (obviously), cruise control (I don’t go on long trips often but it’s amazing to have when I do) and remote entry/alarm (currently don’t have this), everything else is not that big of a deal but these are the three major things I would like my new car to have. So…we’ll see. My mom and aunt said that I may be able to get a First Buyers type deal since this will be my first car purchase, depending on how my mom feels tomorrow after she gets off we may go look and talk to some people!