It really irritates me, frustrates me, and upsets me when someone who isn’t related to you whether by blood and someone that you don’t consider ‘family’ tries to act as if they have any right to tell you their opinion about the things you do or treats you poorly. For instance, my uncle Joe (my cousin Brendan’s dad) has worked with a man they call ‘Elbow’ for years now; this man is a family friend of my aunt and uncle’s and thus my cousins call him Uncle Elbow - the rest of us just call him Elbow. He’s known my uncle for the longest time, I believe they grew up together and he’s been in the lives of my cousins as well as mine for years. He’s had his up’s and down’s and has had his fair share of dating women, but a few years ago (not exactly how long ago) he married a woman named Tracy. Naturally, this woman became Aunt Tracy to my cousins and apart of my aunt and uncle’s family - naturally, when they are invited to family events which isn’t often they are treated just like the family. However, since my cousins bachelorette party which Tracy held for my cousin when she was getting married in 2005, I have felt as if Tracy dislikes me and I can’t exactly figure out why.

Naturally, my cousin is close to Tracy and thus tells her EVERYTHING including things that go on with OUR family. The year prior to my cousin getting married, she got pregnant at 17, dropped out of high school, didn’t have a job, and was just causing hell for our family in general. I was upset at the fact that she was pregnant for a long time, mainly because it didn’t seem as if anyone was bothered by it but it was just something we all had to deal with - of course, I understand that one shouldn’t be mad/upset over something like such because it’s not something you can go back and undo, but the fact that she dropped out, didn’t have a job/education, was running around because stupid and causing problems in general didn’t seem to phase anyone but me. I also was upset because I knew had I been in the same situation, I would have been yelled at and smacked (not literally) from here to China - this has been something I’ve always dealt with as I’ve gotten older, the difference of how I am treated v.s. my cousin. Anyways…while at the party, Tracy made the comment: "I’m so glad you and Brendan are getting along again," to which I responded rather confused because Brendan and I normally always get along but like most cousins, sisters, what have you we have our moments when one upsets the other and we ignore each other - it’s normal. Tracy explained that we didn’t get along for awhile there and I would call her things like a fucking bitch…I had no idea where she had gotten this from because I’ve never once called my cousin a bitch to her face nor to anyone in the family and if I had called her a bitch it was to someone who didn’t even KNOW my cousin and thus could not have told her I said such a thing. Of course, my cousin is known to lie and why would Tracy believe anything different when they are "family"? Needless to say, ever since then I’ve felt as if she hasn’t liked me and while I don’t have to deal with her on a regular basis, I do have to deal with her when she is invited over to FAMILY events.

For instance, it has been our tradition to do gift opening on Christmas Eve since Christmas Day the extended family comes over to my grand parents and there just isn’t enough time in the day to get everything accomplished that needs to be done. A few years ago, Tracy and Elbow were invited to our Christmas eve and have been coming every year after that…no big deal, right? It wouldn’t be if I didn’t feel like she has something stuck up her ass every time she was around me. Last Christmas Eve, I cried to my grand mother because I was upset and told her that I felt like Tracy hated me - she never acknowledges me when I’m around and if/when she does she talks to me as if I’m stupid or something. Tonight, they were invited over for dinner at my grand parents house for my aunt’s birthday dinner - I didn’t know they were coming - and as soon as she walked in the door started giving hugs to my grand mother, my aunt, my cousin and my mom and completely by passed me as if I didn’t exist. She walked past me and Dillon (my cousin’s boyfriend) where we were sitting next to each other on the couch, waved and merely said hi as she went to give my mom a hug. I’m not upset because she didn’t give me a hug, but at least acknowledge that I’m there or something after all you are in MY grand parent’s house and one of OUR FAMILY events. I’m not rude to her and I don’t ignore her because I know I’d get yelled at if I flat out ignored her, but I don’t converse with her unless I have too - if she talks to me, I simply answer.

While sitting at the table eating dinner, she says "you missed us (her and elbow), didn’t you?" to which I merely replied no with a shake of the head - I think she thought I was kidding, but I wasn’t. I missed HIM because he actually talks to me, will have conversation with me and ask me how things in life are - he’s nice to me - hell as soon as he walked in the door tonight he comes over and says "hey sexy" and gives me a hug, he’s a hilarious man! Sigh…I wish that they wouldn’t come to Christmas Eve - I just hate the feeling I have whenever I am around her. Ugh.

Tags: Family

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 14th, 2007 at 11:21 pm and is filed under Family. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.