Trying.
I hope he knows that I’m trying and I hope he knows that I am happy. If anything, he’s the only thing that feels right in my life right now and our relationship is what gives me hope and makes everything else seem worth while. He brings a smile to my face and even though at times, I come off negative or may say negative things I am not doing so in an attempt to sabotage our relationship – that would be awfully stupid on my part.
There is no doubt in my mind that he loves me and cares about me and wants to be with me and I know there is no doubt in his mind that I feel the same for him. I know at times I seem sad or unhappy but deep down I am happy, very happy and the happiest I have been in a long time. I am trying my hardest to do what is next in line which is finding a job and saving up money so that I can move on with my life, so that WE can move on to the next step in our relationship and move on with life together; I am trying and I’m trying to keep my head up even when it may be/seem/feel hard at times. I do it because it’s what feels right and I do it because I know he’s who I want to be with and I do it because he has my heart.
It’s hard to be away from him, from the person that you feel loves you the most and cares about you the most – the person who wants to give you the world. Leaving him was the hardest thing I had to do in a long time and while it seems that I haven’t been happy since I’ve been home, I am happy - a little sad because I don’t want to be away from him but I’m happy because I have him. Like I said, I’m trying…very hard and I’m sorry if I let you down or make you think otherwise when I cry or I seem upset or get irritated. Like you, I just want things to go smoothly and to turn out okay and I’m not really worried about it because I know everything will turn out fine. Our relationship is the one thing I am positively certain of, just know that I’m just trying to figure the next step out and I appreciate you being there for me, more than you could ever know. Just know that I love you with all my heart and that I can’t wait to be with you.
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