Friendless.
It was always easy for me to make friends, just as it was easy to leave them behind; then again it was something that I was conditioned to do because of the military…that’s what happens, you know when you are a military brat: you move to a new place, make friends and 3 years later have to leave them all behind, rinse & repeat again. It wasn’t until my family moved to Lawrence, KS that I had a place to call home and I was actually around kids that didn’t have mom’s & dad’s in the military, I lived off base for once! However, after I was forced to move to South Carolina at the end of my ninth grade year, making friends became impossible.
I suppose it’s my fault. I mean, with all the deep depression I was dealing with, I had no interest in meeting new people/making friends; after-all, isn’t that was depression does to people? Makes you close off the world and seclude yourself, either way that’s what I did. When I went to school, I didn’t care to meet or talk to anyone and those I did talk too I never gave myself or them a chance to be close with and so I was left with no one. The one person I considered a friend ended up just wanting to get in my pants and thus I quickly stopped talking to him. And so here I am now, 21 and in college with no friends. Of course, college should be the time when I meet all kinds of people but I tend to think that the community college atmosphere is a lot different than that of a university. I don’t live on campus thus I’m not forced into talking too and meeting new people every day. I go to class and I come home just as everyone else does, not to mention we’re a bunch of young adults mixed in with older seniors wanting to go back to school.
I miss being able to go out on the weekends or have someone to call up and hang out with, hell I’m 21 and I don’t have a single soul I can call up to go out drinking with (not that I drink a lot anyways). And the boyfriend, yeah it sucks because of the distance so I can’t particularly hang out with him and so when he’s out with his friends I guess you could say I get envious…because I wish I could too. This is why I vow to be my old happy, go lucky friendly person again when I transfer out at the end of the semester, everyone needs a friend to lean on!
September 3rd, 2007 at 4:02 am
I know how you feel honey, only instead of military.. I was homeschooled and I didn’t have the chance to develop the right social skills to make friends, and I’ve never had friends. My boyfriend is the only one I have and right now we’re not doing so well, it’s close to falling apart.
All you can do is keep your head high, throw yourself into your studies/hobbies and get through it for yourself. Friends will come along once you let them.