Seriously, my life is so boring at the moment, getting up at 2pm almost every day to get ready for work and head out by 4:30pm to be there by 5pm is hardly exciting and I really do wish I had something more exciting, interesting and entertaining to write about but I don’t. It makes me sad too because I feel like my blog is just sitting here…waiting for something! So aside from work, absolutely NOTHING has been going on; I’m waiting patiently for a reply from MSU about my admissions, and looking forward to my anniversary next month with Alan but yeah…boring!

I was downstairs earlier when Alan called me and so I didn’t hear my phone; I called him back when I got upstairs and realized I had missed the call. I asked him what he had been doing and he said he had been applying for jobs to which I asked where. He gave me a few places he applied too and then I said I didn’t even know you were applying to other places or had been applying to places aside from the one he told me about recently - he said ‘I don’t tell you every thing.’ It irritated me, I wasn’t upset or mad or pissed or any other form of the word, I was just kind of annoyed by what he said so I told him that I didn’t want to talk to him anymore that I’d talk to him later - that pissed him off and instead of letting me explain why I would just talk to him later, he jumped down my throat telling me how I felt was ridicilous and hung up on me.

Nine times out of ten our arguments start over little things because someone hangs up on the other, the last time we settled our differences I told him that we weren’t doing the hanging up crap anymore because it only makes the situation worse. Personally, I can go from just being annoyed to being pissed off JUST because he hung up on me - that pisses me off more than anything. Anyways…it irritated me that he said “I don’t tell you every thing” because I KNOW he doesn’t but by the same token, he HARDLY tells me a damn thing at all. If he doesn’t tell me, then I don’t know unless a comment is made and I ask about it. I don’t ask him to tell me every thing, I never once have but there isn’t any need to jump on me for being annoyed. I feel like I’m not allowed to feel any emotion besides happiness and when I do feel something other than happiness especially being upset, then I just need to get over it. With him, it’s like ‘omg…Alan is pissed off, stay away, don’t talk to him because the world will come crashing down’ - it’s fucking annoying how it seems like his feelings > mine when they should both be =.

We haven’t had any arguments in a week or so which has been nice, we’ve been talking and getting along and alot of that is attributed just to my stress with school being gone. But I’ve also realized that I just don’t have the engery to argue anymore or want to argue anymore, but my feelings still mean something and when you treat me like I’m below you, yeah that’s going to hurt - especially when I’ve only been nice and decent to you…hell I even bought him a video game when I didn’t have too because he wanted it, but doesn’t have the money right now. So why is it okay for him to get pissed off at me, turn off his phone and be a jerk over something that doesn’t even warrant an argument? I don’t get it…and I didn’t think caring about what someone was doing was a crime, if it is I should have been locked up ten times over by now.

My cousin, Brendan and I don’t get along - plain and simple. We never really have gotten along, I mean we have our times when we “get along” but deep down, she’s always gotten under my skin mainly because she’s such an attention whore. Apparently, I’m a bitch and being a bitch because I won’t add her as a friend on myspace, I wouldn’t buy her flip flops the other day when I was going shopping for ME and she got my brother to call and ask me if I’d get some for her, and because I refuse to talk to her and answer her calls; I’m such a bitch because of it.

If that makes me a bitch, then I’ll take that because it doesn’t hurt my feelings a damn bit. I find it rather amusing to be honest because she reasoning behind why I’m such a bitch are stupid. I haven’t talked to her in about a month, and I really haven’t seen her since Easter. I have absolutely NOTHING to say to her and thus I don’t talk to her; I don’t answer her calls because 100% of the time it’s her calling to ask me what I’m doing to which I respond nothing, every time OR it’s her calling because she’s trying to find someone to take her to the store for something she apparently needs…because jeez, she doesn’t have a car or a license because hers is suspended. Seriously, I’m over being nice and doing things for her, I’m over wasting my time on someone who clearly ISN’T going to change and I’m definitely over being involved with someone who only acts like a bitch towards everyone else.

Sure, she’s pregnant for the SECOND time and she’s miserable but that still is no reason to be a bitch to EVERYONE; it’s not me making shit up or something random like that, hell just the other day at her baby shower her dad made the comment, how about you do use all a favor and not get pregnant again - because she had an attitude for no apparent reason. It’s fucking old and ridicilous and the ONLY reason I haven’t said something to her or anyone else about aside from my mom is because I don’t want to deal with the drama that will be caused by what I have to say; if I say something to her it’ll only piss off her along with my grandmother AND my aunt, why do I want to deal with that? I don’t. Eventually, something will get said and when it happens, it won’t be very pretty but for now the easiest thing to do is to remove myself from having anything to do with her and that is exactly what I’ve done and I’m perfectly fine. Apparently, it bothers her so much that I don’t talk to her yet I didn’t really talk to her much before…god forbid!!! Seriously, I wish she’d get over herself and realize that I wouldn’t ‘ignore’ her if she wasn’t such a bitch to everyone that is around her and was actually worth the fucking air she breathes.

I finished my exams on Saturday with the completion of my history essays, and grades were submitted last night and I did better than expected. I felt that I was going to do well this semester but even so, I did better in one class than I thought I would. I received a B in Intro to Philosophy and a B in Intermediate Algebra, I received an A in American History and an A in Macroeconomics. The economics class is what surprised me because when I added up all my points to calculate my grade it came out to a 90 which on our grading scale is a B. With a 3.5 semester GPA, and a cumulative GPA of a 3.099 I should have a great chance into getting into MSU. I’m excited about finding out, for good and finally, if I’ve been accepted or not and I hope to find out in the next couple of weeks after transcripts are sent.

I’m so glad classes are out and I can take a break from every thing. I felt from the beginning that I wouldn’t do that well because of working and going to school, but I proved to myself that I can do it I just have to believe I can. I’m ready for the break and I look forward to moving on to the next step in my education. Now if I could just stop beating myself up over other things that are out of my control…

Earlier this week, my brother knocked on my door to show me something; he opened his phone and showed me a picture of a white cat…I was like okay? It’s a cat, after all he does work at a pet store. Turns out that cat is my OLD cat, Patches. I had Patches for three or four years, I’m not exactly sure but had to get rid of him along with my other cat Pudge when we moved a year ago. We had gotten Patches from a local no kill pet shelter when I realized that Pudge - who I had gotten as a kitten - needed a friend. Patches was sitting in his cage, meowing away and I feel in love with him. It broke my heart when my mom told me she wouldn’t let me take either of them to the new apartment last year…I had Pudge since he was a kitten, I bottle fed him - he was my baby and Patches I had grown attached to also. Pudge ended up going with an elderly man that my mom knew from church and Patches was taken back to the shelter; it just hurts to see him still up for adoption after a year, he was a good cat and I really hope he finds a home one day.

Seeing him at the pet store makes me want another pet, I miss having one. I really would like to have a small dog, but mom won’t allow any pets because she doesn’t want to end up taking care of them, cleaning up after them or paying the $200 pet deposit. It also sucks because I can’t really get a pet, dog or cat, because of going off to school in the Fall - I wouldn’t be able to bring them with me. I thought about getting some fish and starting up nice fish tank but eh, that stuff cost so much. I just miss having a pet!

Apparently, there have been some major security/hacking problems with Wordpress 2.5 - I’m not exactly sure what has been going on, but it has something to do with having certain folders and such set to writable allowing people to hack files and completely wipe out websites. I’m looking into more at the moment to see if I’m currently at risk of being hacked and will be fixing the issue if I find that I am, with that there will be a possible upgrade to 2.5.1 but I won’t upgrade until I am certain upgrading won’t break my site since it seems some people are having issues with it. I’ll also be changing passwords and such for my databases since I realized I was using the same password I use for everything else - not very smart. If something breaks at random, just sit tight!

As you can see I finally managed to get the new theme up and running; it took me longer than I wanted just because I’ve had to focus on school assignments and such but I’m glad I finally got it changed. I’ll be working on it a bit more after I take my math exam and write my history essays tomorrow. I’ll also be adding some things in the content section! Anyways, enjoy.